i miss you

Sometimes I feel every bad feeling and then that last, almost worst, feeling comes: missing you.  Grief seems to trump everything, and it usually does.  But some days it's not complicated, some days it's simple: I miss you.  I miss knowing you're there to talk to, to text, to hear your voice.  I need you here.  Sometimes I'll scream: WHERE ARE YOU???  I'm angry and hateful.  Not at you, at this.  It's as if you're hiding from us, and sometimes I'll tell myself stories.  Stories like- well, if anyone could pretend to be gone, it would be you.  You could trick me.  I lie to myself some days, I create stories in my mind of what you could be doing.  In the end, all that matters is: I miss you.  I need to know where you are.